How I get my kids to do their chores!

Ok, let’s be real here.  My kids don’t like doing their chores, I mean, who likes doing chores?  Not me.  I definitely love how our home looks after but in the midst of doing it, our house is upside down.  Dining chairs are everywhere while the floors are being cleaned, dishes overflow the sink, laundry all over the ground waiting to be sorted for a wash.  This is real life yall.  (Side note: I always joke with my husband that foreplay to me is laundry washed, dried, folded, AND put away!  Most days he’s a champ at making that happens, along with every other chore that sucks up “mom brain” but we know where his intentions are LOL! And I am NOT complaining!)

But anyway, here are some tips that have worked for us getting our kids to do their chores without me having to incessantly harass them about it.  Most days are fine but there are some days my kids become my chore.  Literally.

1. 1. Family Contributions
      I once heard a wise mother of 7 refer to chores as “family contributions.”  As soon as I heard that a light bulb went off, like why didn’t I think of that?!  Chores all of a sudden sounded not so torturous.  Mental games, totally.  But whatever works when you’re desperate.  Who’s with me on that one?In an effort to get my kids to understand the importance of chores, they needed to first know who they are in our family.  We tell them every day that they are loved (no matter what!), but we do we remind them that they are valued?  That their opinion matters and that their contributions are noticed and felt.  I believe if we listen to understand, not respond, that our relationships would be instantly enhanced.  And I am totally guilty of listening to respond!  But when I make the effort to understand them, trust is built, respect is given, and I can practically get them to do anything.  Muahaha.  Win-Win!Often times I am reminding them that each of us has value in our house.  We all contribute to the joy we all feel as a family, but we also contribute to the mess.  Therefore, as a family, we are required to assist in the cleanup.  No different than the responsibility of each of us being kind, or patient, or quiet when we want to shout.  All the value we add is equally important.  The joy, the chores, the opinions, etc.  Not to mention a dad who goes to work every day to financially provide for us.  I mean he earns all the money and we all spend it.  How fair is that?!

      My children are still children, ages 10, 8, 7, & 2–so I still need to remind them often of completing their chores (like daily!).  But doesn’t that seem like a weakness in man, not just children?  I mean, I need to be reminded often to pray, serve others, or even be nice.  I can’t imagine how God must feel when he has to remind us often of all the things need to do.  Poor guy.

   2. Rotations
      So our family contribution system works on a weekly basis.  You are assigned a chore for the week, then you rotate to a new chore next week.  We are always having to find a healthy balance in this as some weeks are crazier than others, but we’re pretty resilient when it comes to adapting to change.  I have seen that the weekly rotations give them enough time to master that skill (washing dishes, cleaning the floors, etc), but also gives them a break from being too burnt out from doing it.  I tried daily rotations and 1. it was too much for me to remember and 2. the kids never got the hang of it.  So weekly has been the happy medium for us all.  Winner winner, chicken dinner.
   3. Mom & Dad contribute too!
      In an effort for my kids to feel validated, mom and dad are a part the of the weekly rotations as well.  We get just as dirty as the kids, and honestly, they appreciate seeing us work too.  It shows to them that we really do value their work if we’re willing to do it, AND it doesn’t give them a platform to fight against us because we’re in the grind as well.  We all contribute to the mess so we all clean it, period.And truthfully, the bathrooms get a deep clean when it’s our week anyway.  Heck, all the cleaning gets done 10x better when it’s our week…and really, it should be. But I dont mind because it feels good to step into a squeaky clean shower.
   4. Charts
      When you download our charts you will see how everything is organized.  There are personal contributions done every morning, afternoon, and evening.  There are also chores (specific to what they’ve been assigned for the week) they must do every day, and then specific chores they do on Monday’s, Tuesday’s, Wednesday’s, etc.  An example would be dishes: Daily: Put away clean dishes and wash/load dirty ones, Monday: wipe cabinets, Tuesday: Wipe appliances, etc.  In the image above, you can see that I had these charts laminated and every week they get a new one.  Simple.
   5. Rest Days
      Let’s be real.  We all need rest days.  In my system, you will see that we don’t do chores on Sunday (with the exception of trash pick up that comes early Monday) and on Fridays.  Those are days we cherish as a family!  By the end of the week, we just want to be together as a family.  Oh, and when sports are in season, the weekends are toast.  Nothing gets done.  But I’m ok with that.  We just hustle extra hard during the week.
   6. Independence
      Lastly, let me just say that hard work is the antithesis of entitlement.  For us, we don’t own a farm, orchard, or laborious business where my kids can learn the true value of HARD work.  But in our home, we can teach hard work, teamwork, respect, gratitude, and independence.The hard work comes from cleaning everything. It gives them an opportunity to notice the details that make up our home, and when neglected, they learn how quickly their simple chore becomes a big task

      Teamwork comes from knowing that even though you didn’t make the dirty dishes, you still clean them.  Just like daddy working hard to earn all the money, that we collectively spend.

      Respect comes from knowing that when you scrub pee and poop off the toilet and the floor around it, that maybe next time you’ll aim better, or use the scrubby brush on your poop streaks.  Truth.

      Gratitude comes from knowing that you have a home, water, food, appliances, a family to clean with and for, and so many other blessings.

      And independence–this is a large principle I focus a lot of my teachings on with my children.  If anything were to happen to me, I believe that they would be able to care for themselves and others because I prepared them for life.  To me, the worst thing you can do is leave your child helpless.  The work we put in is not only a way to maintain a clean home or to show gratitude for what God has given us, but it is also preparation for when they are required to do hard things on their own.

      Here, here, here, and here are my free family contribution charts 🙂 Enjoy!

Aloha y’all xoxo